I am writing to you because you have been somewhat shitty lately. It is my fault. I am not sure how I started spiraling downward but I am ready to stop. A couple of years ago I was on top of things. I had a great positive attitude. I was confident in myself. I was pleasant to be around. I was exercising and eating healthy. That is not so much the case lately. I keep thinking I do not have what it takes to start a photography business because I am not outgoing enough, skilled enough, artsy enough or smart enough but I do not want to let go of the idea either. I love photography and it may well give me the freedom I am longing for.
This past week I watched a photography webinar with Zach and Jody Gray. They reminded me of how I was a couple of years ago so I researched them further. I read this post and was reminded of the mindsets people generally have based on their income. The first time I saw those mindsets was when I was attending a poverty simulation. I realized I have dropped closer to the poverty mindset this past year.
That is when I realized I am done. I am tired of the stress and the negative feelings. I am sick of it. Will it be easy to reverse direction? No, but I can do it.
In the end, I thank you life. You will have your ups and downs but without the downs, I would not realize I need to keep pushing to better myself.
At least my little munchkin still puts a smile on my face and gives me a hug and kiss when I need it.